I realize how hard these may be to read...Imagine writing them.
I can vividly remember pulling into the church parking lot wiping my tear streaked face, making sure my makeup was intact, doing a mirror check and getting my “game face” ready...ready for service.
I wish I could say this was a one time occurrence! Some days, I was simply exhausted while others I was fully tapped out.
But as a PK, you grow up realizing that people expect to see you smiling . They grow to expect the hug you share with folks, every service. They want you to stop and speak words of love and life. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I won’t lie, I have perfected the “game face”. I did this because I learned quickly that privacy was a treasure not afforded to many PK’s. The “game face” was necessary for me. It was key in getting whatever I needed to do done, with grace and style.
Now you may be thinking...MY GOD!
But this idea of the “game face”, taught me a beautiful lesson.
The thing is PK’s are just regular folk who have just grown up in the limelight of their church, which turns into their world.
The best thing I could have done for myself was going to school, traveling and working a job away from my church home. You see, the people that I work with do not care about me being a PK! They expect to see me show up and serve in the position I was hired to do. So for me, doing this expanded my world. Thanks for the push mom and dad!
My game face taught me resilience. Not only that, after wearing the “game face” for so long, I learned that it was okay to let people see you. PK’s don’t have to be perfect. We are not porcelain dolls. My game face taught me that I can’t fully heal unless I recognize my broken pieces. And sometimes that calls for removal of the “game face”. Some days, these broken pieces look like mascara stained cheeks that couldn’t erase the rivers' cried. Another thing I learned was that being present in the game does not mean you have to be perfect in the game. I learned that people don’t get the best of me, trying to be perfect. Sometimes I push myself to say the hard things, stand up when nobody else does or do what no one else will.
But the most important lesson…
This...serving God...is not a game at all.
We are not playing for keeps. This is about life and thereafter. Thanks for the wakeup call COVID!
In reality, we are all on a journey with one destination in mind. When we realize this, we realize that all the pump and prime , all of the glitz and glam, none of that matters. It’s our relationship with God that stands the test of time.
It’s knowing that we are victorious in every phase of this journey...no matter who we are or how we feel. Being a PK can be extremely hard at times. What I have learned is that more important than a PK, I am a daughter of the king. He knows my every success and failure. He’s with me at my toughest times in life. He’s in the car with me and my tears. He’s on the stage where I present my worship. He’s mending my heart when it has broken to pieces. He does not see me, the PK, he sees me as his child. He is mindful of my every woe.
So if you are a PK reading this, just know that you don’t have to be perfect for people. Don’t live your life as if you're on stage and have to get every part right. The most important audience you have is an audience of one...with our heavenly father...no “game face” needed.
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